As I look back on the past seven years, I have learned so much. I have learned about humility, forgiveness, love and patience. And while I may not be the best at all of them, I certainly have been a student; going through tests to prove my mettle. You see, my life took on other meanings and forms when I got married. For the first time...at 40 years old. I shed the crown of most single person in the universe only to take up another (or two) of wife and mother.Mother?!? Okay, for some of you, it may be a stretch to understand just how incredible that is. So, I will explain.
I always told my mother from a very early age that I would not bear children. Not ever! I was convinced that the whole mother scene was just not in my blood and that job should be left to those who have the patience and selflessness to endure. And clearly, it was not me. I loved other people's children, but just not an overall fan of the job for myself. So, when I realized that I was going to marry a man with a son who was 11 years old, I had to dig deep. I had to find that mother instinct that had been latent all those years. I prayed. Hard! It was a challenge, and at times a struggle, but the effort has been worth it. My son will be 20 this January and I can honestly say that I love him like my own. We share jokes and giggle together, cook together in the kitchen, have serious conversations. I didn't think I could do it, years ago, but I give God all the glory for cultivating this relationship. He has allowed me to see my son in a different way and given me a kind of love for him that I didn't know could exist. I am a mother, and a proud one at that.
Now, for my marriage...
Like I said before, I have been single, and quite honestly, I have been happy with that title. But once I stepped into the position of being a wife, I have not looked back. I had to remember to shed off all of the habits that I had as a single woman. Such as, I didn't have to lock every door behind me in the house. I had to constantly remember that I had a husband to consider in everyday decisions I had mastered for my single life. That was a challenge. I had to learn to forgive. Yep, that was a big one. I have been good at forgiving up to this point, but I think I stepped up to a whole new level. Love forgives, and forgives and forgives and forgives. A LOT. But, that was the good thing about this arrangement, I couldn't quit and walk out, I had to learn how to stay there and work it out. I had to let God show me and minister to me about what I needed to change about myself.
Seven years into it, and it has all been worth it. All of the things that have transpired in our marriage and family has made us a stronger family unit. I would not give this up for the world. I look forward to many more adventures for us.
