Tuesday, November 29, 2016

Where In The World Has The Time Gone??!!??

As I look back on the past seven years, I have learned so much. I have learned about humility, forgiveness, love and patience. And while I may not be the best at all of them, I certainly have been a student; going through tests to prove my mettle. You see, my life took on other meanings and forms when I got married. For the first time...at 40 years old. I shed the crown of most single person in the universe only to take up another (or two) of wife and mother.

Mother?!? Okay, for some of you, it may be a stretch to understand just how incredible that is. So, I will explain.
I always told my mother from a very early age that I would not bear children. Not ever! I was convinced that the whole mother scene was just not in my blood and that job should be left to those who have the patience and selflessness to endure. And clearly, it was not me. I loved other people's children, but just not an overall fan of the job for myself. So, when I realized that I was going to marry a man with a son who was 11 years old, I had to dig deep. I had to find that mother instinct that had been latent all those years. I prayed. Hard! It was a challenge, and at times a struggle, but the effort has been worth it. My son will be 20 this January and I can honestly say that I love him like my own. We share jokes and giggle together, cook together in the kitchen, have serious conversations. I didn't think I could do it, years ago, but I give God all the glory for cultivating this relationship. He has allowed me to see my son in a different way and given me a kind of love for him that I didn't know could exist. I am a mother, and a proud one at that.
Now, for my marriage...

Like I said before, I have been single, and quite honestly, I have been happy with that title. But once I stepped into the position of being a wife, I have not looked back. I had to remember to shed off all of the habits that I had as a single woman. Such as, I didn't have to lock every door behind me in the house. I had to constantly remember that I had a husband to consider in everyday decisions I had mastered for my single life. That was a challenge. I had to learn to forgive. Yep, that was a big one. I have been good at forgiving up to this point, but I think I stepped up to a whole new level. Love forgives, and forgives and forgives and forgives. A LOT. But, that was the good thing about this arrangement, I couldn't quit and walk out, I had to learn how to stay there and work it out. I had to let God show me and minister to me about what I needed to change about myself.

Seven years into it, and it has all been worth it. All of the things that have transpired in our marriage and family has made us a stronger family unit. I would not give this up for the world. I look forward to many more adventures for us.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Sunrise Sunset




Woah! What just happened? In the space of a year, my life has totally taken a turn that I had never expected to see. So here I am, a single woman on her way to 40 *GULP* when the next thing you know, I am engaged to be married!

I think the most fun of this whole thing is that I got to tell my family, who were a little beside themselves. One of my aunts said "But you are just so...single." She tried to back peddle a little by saying that I was so good at it. Well sure I was, I had perfected being single by this point! Single looked good on me. I wore it well! I had my network of single girlfriends, and although we would lament from time to time about the pitfalls of being single, overall, we had decided that we were much better off! We could choose where and when we would go somewhere and with whom. We were not tied down to anyone, thus giving us perfect freedom.

However...as time marched on, and my relationship with God grew, I noticed that I started to have a small yearning in my heart that would not go away. It took me a while to identify this strange sensation, and then I realized...I was starting to SETTLE DOWN!
I wanted to have a husband and be a wife. What was happening to me? At first I was in denial. I was in disbelief that this one time staunch feminist actually wanted to have a husband. Who was I becoming? Then I got it. God was doing a work in me. He was slowly preparing my heart for a man to move in there and take up residence. I had boarded that thing up years ago thinking that I would never again love someone deeply enough to marry. How wrong I was. :)

I fell in love with my one of my best friends. We had known each other for years, as he was married to one of my other best friends. I had become very close to their family, attending functions, hanging out and watching movies, the endless games of Scrabble. But all that changed last year. The wife died suddenly, leaving us behind. We were devastated. In the process of picking up the pieces, I fell in love with the man she left behind. It has been a strange trip, but in the end, it all makes sense. God put us together for a wonderful reason, and we are so blessed to have one another.

So, there you have it. We are engaged now and getting married this November. Hopefully I won't wait that long to post!

Friday, May 30, 2008

And The Rain Came Down


And The Rain Came Down
Originally uploaded by Freesia28
Another year at Spirit West Coast...only with a twist. I was one of the volunteers that worked on the ministry team during alter calls. I was so blessed to be a part of this major outreach. There were so many people there that came to Christ for the first time, and others that rededicated their lives to God. A powerful experience.

I also got a chance to be up close and personal through my lens for the first time. I was able to get some good shots of the bands that appeared. I used this opportunity to practice using my manual settings, which was valuable to me. I find myself to be more intuitive with my camera through this experience. I was also able to meet other photographers and either assist them with their settings or get more of an insight on the various lenses that are on the market.

Bottom line, I was blessed. I had a great time, I was refreshed and renewed in the Spirit as well as gained knowledge in photography. A perfect weekend for me!

Sunday, April 13, 2008

And So It Came To Pass...


What He Lives For
Originally uploaded by Freesia28
I know that I have been slacking a little on my posts (understatement), but really, I have been busy. Last time I posted, I was living with my sister and her daughter and hired as a photographer for a company in San Diego. I have moved since then (for those of you know know me, that is certainly not a new phenomenon) and still employed by the same company, however, I have been promoted to Manager. How did that happen? Who said I was ready to get those 5 AM calls again? This can only be explained as a blessing from God. He sure knows how to stretch me. :) This time, my team has grown and so has the responsibility. Now, I am not complaining about it, but goodness, I thought I was free from those phone calls! :)

So, I continue to learn about photography, Photoshop and the equipment that we have available to us. I have become acquainted with lighting principles and have been able to incorporate them in my private work. The more I learn, the more I realize I still have to digest and put into practice.

I have also found my source of joy here on this earthly plane. I absolutely love the freedom of riding on a motorcycle with my gear stowed and having the ability to stop anywhere and take the shots that I see through "my" lens. I look at things differently now, how I would frame it, the lighting that is perfect and the angle that I would take, and I am able to hop off the bike and capture that perfect shot. It is almost inexplicable the rush, the joy the immediate gratification that I get from this type of experience. Of course, sharing this with another just brings it to another level of fun. I ride with one of my friends and we are able to compare notes, angles and stories about what we captured, even though we may be in the same immediate area. We have met some interesting people this way.

I am still in search of more information on wedding photography. My heart is drawn there and I long to be in the company of those who have a lot of experience in this area to garner precious information. It will come, I am sure. I just get a little impatient. I want to know everything now.

Oh, well...that is the latest. Hopefully I won't wait another 9 months to post.

Thursday, July 5, 2007

New Chapter


Feet
Originally uploaded by Freesia28


Okay, so a LOT has happened since I last posted. I did go back to NY for 2 weeks, from where I originally hail, and found MANY reminders why I live around San Diego. My brother and his family were gracious hosts and I just thuroughly enjoyed my time with them. I was so blessed to be a part of the graduation celebrations for my niece and nephew. We all had a great time at the Great Escape, where we learned just how nice everyone is. God sure had me there for that time and for reasons that became quite clear when Dad and Grandma ended up in different hospitals at the same time. God is so good, and I am so glad to be back home.

At last posting, I wanted to continue my education in photography but with classes that fit around my busy life schedule. Uh, yeah...about that. I quit my job. I no longer work in the social services field. I no longer get calls at 5 AM about people who are not able to make it to work. *Huge Grin* I am now employed as a photographer. Yep, sure am! I am going to be working with a company that does the annual images for school children. I start training next Monday and for one week, I will be learning everything from the ground up. Later, as we become more accompanied to the equipment, we will also have the opportunity to work with other more portable cameras to capture sporting events and other school socials on the weekend. That is really what interests me. The camera rumored to be used is the D200 by Nikon. Oh yeah, I can't wait!

My niece, Lindsay is here living with my sister and I now. You will find that she is one of my favorite subjects to photograph. She is used to the camera, and does not feel the need to pose everytime I break it out, which is nice. I am able to get more natural expressions from her. I have been posting like crazy on Flickr since my trip to NY. Feel free to click on my badge to get to the photo site. This photo is one example of Lindsay's fine modeling skills. This image made the Flickr top 500 photos for July 1. This one's for you, Chris. Happy Birthday.

So, that is about it. Enough changes for now, I guess, but I am not daunted by it. I embrace it and look for more wonderful things to come!!

Thursday, May 24, 2007

All Things Great and Small


Sunset in Del Mar 3
Originally uploaded by Freesia28
I am continuing my adventure into the realm of photography, as I am posting my images on Flickr; a fabulous site for those who find photography a great hobby, as well as others that aspire to turn it into an art form. I am finding so much inspiration in this particular community and love getting different ideas. It's as if I am looking at things through a new set of eyes. It is quite exciting and often am disappointed that I am distracted from taking a picture because I am working, driving, using the restroom...you get the idea.

I have been looking into opportunities to expand my knowledge in this area, so of course I have been researching the options for working around my busy and full-life schedule. I have been found a place that will allow me to complete one-on-one instruction. There are sessions that are broken down into 2 to 4 hour blocks and I can take them whenever I have the time. How wonderful is that?

I am finding that I do want to work in the wedding business as well as take family portraits. I would love just spending the day with a family as they have their reunion and capture all of the precious interactions that take place that can never be replicated.

I also am going "home" to NY next month. I am looking forward to spending time with my Mom and Dad, but also being able to get some great images to take back with me. My father is quite elderly, and I know that I am not able to go back to see him as often as I would like. To open a picture and be able to see his smile, that is what the good stuff is made of. I love my Dad. He will always have a very special soft spot in my heart.

Friday, April 27, 2007

Starting Out

I never thought that I would be one to publish my thoughts to the World Wide Web, but lately some very interesting and just downright funny things have been happening that I believe others would be interested in hearing about. I am a 37 year old woman who is discovering that growing older is an adventure all its own.

I have come to a point in my life where I don't know what I want to be when I grow up. How weird is that? I have been working in the social work field for 18 years, and now I am finding that I want something different. Is this normal? Have I reached the mid-life crisis that I thought was reserved for:

1) Individuals in their 40's.
2) Men (Sorry guys, but society places you on the corner on that market)

I thought that a change in job would help until I interviewed with a 12 year old who would be my supervisor as a skin tag on my neck got snagged on my blouse. That was a defining moment for me. I finally realized that I am no longer what the world views as a "spring chicken". To compound the matter, I have become aware that I am no longer a "Miss" and have now established the "Ma'am" title. When did that happen, and why was I so blissfully ignorant to that transformation?

I want to explore photography. I have always had a passion for capturing the moment on film and more recently on the LCD screen, but now I would like to expand my hobby to something more substantial. I know that it will take work and paying my dues, but I am up for the challenge.

So, that is just some information to get started. Have a great day.